I've been waiting on two things:  #1=FAIL, #2=Don't know yet but by the way things are going, I'll assume FAIL.  This is getting all very old and I am tired of the, "don't give up", "you are strong", "you can do it", "everything happens for a reason" bullshit.  I have given up now, I am not strong, I obviously CAN'T do it, and I hate the reasons why things are happening.  So screw everyone with their "stay positive" propaganda.  It doesn't work or change anything going on in my life, so save it and use it on yours.  I ask for no more prayers and good wishes, and crossing of the fingers.  Fuck.